Non-'Traditional' Adoptions

Are you considering adopting a child? There are a lot of people who would love to answer 'yes', but feel that they can't because they aren't a 'regular family'. This is definitely the case for many single, gay and/or lesbian couples. They would be more than happy to give a home to a child in need, but don't feel that it's an option for them. Also, sometimes a family can't get pregnant on their own and decides to go a different route. The good news is that new paths are opening up all the time for these parents to find the children they are meant to raise. Here are just a few of those paths.

Same-sex adoptions. My brother and his partner have talked about adopting on a number of occasions. While they are very busy people who travel all over the world for work, there is no reason at all to think that they would not be able to give a child a good home. However, some people don't agree. One argument is that the child will be taught to be gay. Contrary to popular opinion, this isn't possible-sexual orientation, if modern medical science is to be believed, is innate rather than chosen. Some people-in my area, mostly conservative Christians-think that it will make the child think it's okay to be gay when they say it isn't. I'm not touching that one, but what's the harm in teaching a child how to interact with different kinds of people? Also, not every state allows same-sex adoptions. As more states begin to allow same-sex marriage, however, this is likely to change. I'm not pushing an agenda here; I'm just mentioning it because it's been in the news for a while and is relevant to my family. Maybe it is for yours too. For more information, visit http://adoption.about.com/od/adopting/tp/gayadoptionbasics.htm or http://www.adoptionhelp.org/lgbtq-adoption.

Embryo adoption, where the mother chooses to carry a 'donated' embryo to term, is covered in more detail in another post. This may be an option for a couple that wants to experience pregnancy, but aren't able to achieve it through the 'regular' means. The link to the other post along with more information can be found here http://www.momsnewbaby.com/2012/07/is-embryo-adoption-for-you.html

Single parent adoptions. Contrary to what we see in the tabloids, single-parent adoption isn't available across the board. Some agencies think that the ideal situation is a married couple and are very reluctant (or flat-out refuse) to place a child in a single-parent home. At this point, though, it's estimated that a good 25-30% of children that come from state-run systems are adopted to single parents. It appears that single mothers have been more likely to adopt older children (7+) or minorities, especially if they are minorities themselves. These children tend to be 'harder' to adopt out and benefit greatly from a loving parent, married or not. Also, a lot of mothers-biological and adoptive-are not single by choice. I know several women who became single through divorce, widowhood or otherwise by something they didn't choose. They may eventually plan on getting married but, in the meantime, have an extensive network of support from family and friends. It's not the ideal situation, but we make do with what we have. Many agencies are beginning to see this and make their decisions based on a number of factors rather than rejecting a single parent outright. For more information about the legal and emotional issues surrounding single-parent adoption, visit http://www.parents.com/parenting/adoption/facts/can-a-single-person-adopt/, http://adoption.about.com/od/nontraditional/a/singleapar.htm or  http://www.adopting.org/uni/frame.php?url=http://www.cwla.org/programs/adoption/singlemother.htm.

Like a lot of things in life, family is what we make of it. If you want to give a child a home but aren't in a 'traditional' family situation, there may be options for you. There are a ton of children out there who need loving homes; perhaps that home is meant to be yours. God willing, it could be mine. Good luck.