It’s twins! Great words to hear until it really sinks in, not one but two babies. When you learn that they are identical twins you quickly learn just how similar they are. When you get them home and soon learn how to tell them apart your life begins to get much easier. The gifts start pouring in from family and loved ones. Two of this, two of that and the clothes are identical, too!
Like most parents you dress them alike as babies because most people expect that you would. Then, it’s preschool time and now how will this work? Your dressing them alike is going to make it even harder on the teacher to tell them apart. So, perhaps you buckle just a bit and don’t totally dress them the same every single day. Just for a moment imagine being an identical twin. Suppose you are three years old and look next to you and not only this little person looks exactly like you, but she is dressed just like you too. It’s much like having a mirror follow you each and every day. Wouldn’t you suspect you would soon become sick of it?
Once they begin elementary school they will most probably not want to dress alike, which may be a gift. At least now you can finally treat them like the two individual people that they really are and let the fun begin! It is very hard for identical twins to discover and find their own identity because it has been carved out to them that they are the same. Everyone else knows they really are not the same, they just look the same. They have different likes and dislikes and may prefer different foods as well. The best thing you can do as a parent of identical twins is to treat them as separate births and to encourage their individuality. If you were a single birth then you were automatically treated this way. Simply because they were not a single birth they have to wait until their parents allow them to be their own person.
Many parents of twins buy them the same thing for their birthdays which can be a huge mistake! Buy them the top two items on their wish list and this way they can enjoy their gift and they can also switch them between each other. Ask them each separately what their favorite color is and keep this color in mind when shopping for them. Find out what their favorite food is and take turns cooking them and then announce that we are having spaghetti tonight which is that child’s favorite! This alone will teach them about being individuals because they will each look forward to their own favorite meals that you will make for them. If your home is large enough, give them each their own bedroom. This forces them to think independently because their twin is not right next to them. Don’t worry about them not being so close because they are twins and that is a gift that they will most likely share between each other for a lifetime. Give them the gift of individuality and you will be glad that you did.
