Having Kids When You're 'Older'

Hear that? That 'ticking' noise? No, it's not a bomb. It's a clock-my biological clock, to be precise. I'm in my mid-30s and have really only been thinking about having kids in past year or two. If I listen to statistics, I'm not alone. In fact, a study done by the University of Houston says that nearly 40 percent of children born in 2010 were born to women over the age of 30. The reason for this is that many women are choosing to wait until after they are out of college and/or established in their careers before settling down and having children.

Modern medicine says this is fine, but society hasn't caught up; If I hear one more person tell me it's 'too late' or that I'd 'better get started', I'm going to throw something. Apparently my 'advanced' age means that any babies I have will have five heads, six arms and fifteen ingrown toenails. Okay, that last one was an exaggeration, but you get the point. There are, however, things that women who wait to have children should keep in mind.

Fertility issues. Fertility tends to decline as we get older and our number of eggs declines. However, this isn't a given. Elizabeth Gregory, the director of the aforementioned study, says that roughly 90% of 35-year-old women are able to conceive without medical aid (in vitro fertilization, etc). It might take them longer, but it does happen. The numbers go down as we get older, the rates being about 75% for ages 36-39 and 50% for ages 39-41. This isn't to say that you will have trouble getting pregnant, just that it's more likely than it is for our younger counterparts.

Risk of health problems, for both mother and child. Women over 35 have a higher risk of problems such as gestational diabetes, preeclampsia, placenta previa (the placenta partly covers the cervix) and placental difficulties. We are also at a higher risk of having a premature or stillborn child, as well as needing a c-section. Getting the proper prenatal care makes these things much less likely, but the risks are still there.

Those of us over 35 do have a higher risk of having a child with chromosomal defects. For instance, the rate of children with Down syndrome (a form of retardation) being born to women over 40 is 1 in 100, about ten times higher than that of mothers under 30. We can get genetic testing to determine our personal risks, but it's not always easy to determine the exact cause of a birth defect.

Some doctors say that the risk of having a child with autism goes up after 35, but that's not a given. Even if it were, however, that's may not be a bad thing. My friend V had her son at age 42. She lovingly refers to him as Genius Brat because, while his Asperger's Syndrome (a form of autism) causes him to have social problems, he is brilliant in other ways. 

This may or may not be relevant, but- 

Disdain from other people. Like I said above, some people still haven't 'gotten the memo' about the 'proper' age of having children. I've heard concern about 'older' parents having less energy and not being able to be there for their kids when they hit their 'adult' milestones-graduations, marriage, children, etc. Honestly, this is total bunk. My father is 72 and, while he does get tired more easily, is sharp as a tack and has no problem keeping up with my 6-year-old nephews. Everyone is different. The only people I can think of who would have a real problem with an 'older' mom are nosy busybodies who mean well but don't always think before they speak. Feel free to ignore them or change the subject.

If your doctor is okay with it, there is really no reason a woman in her 30s or above shouldn't have a child. Regardless of the 'higher' risks we hear so much about, every woman (and every child) is an individual. My mom was 34 when I was born, and I turned out fine. Some may not think so, but that's another post. :) I don't really care anyway.