Help With Breaking Your Child's Bad Habits

Do your children have habits you want to break? Here are a few ideas that might help.

Remember that many habits resolve themselves. Certain things such as crying and thumb-sucking are appropriate for whatever developmental level your child is at and will be 'grown out of'. Your doctor can give you more information about the different stages.

Make the habit physically harder. If your child has a problem with spontaneously taking off her clothes or touching herself, dress her in things she can't get into very easily. If your son still sucks on a pacifier or a blanket, take it away from him and put it where he can't get to it.

Be calm. My dad had a short temper and was a 'yeller'. While I'm not saying that we should never raise our voices-sometimes you have to in order to get your child's attention-, yelling out of anger may do more harm than good. If you can take a second to calm down or whatever, do so.

Get to the source. A lot of things that we consider to be 'bad habits'-for instance, thumb sucking-are ways a child comforts themselves. Have there been a lot of changes, positive or not? Is there something that is making the child nervous? Even something as small as a change in your son's routine can 'throw him off'. As he gets used to it, the sucking will often stop. If there's something going on such as boredom or increased arguing with a sibling, deal with that.

Positive reinforcement and a 'reward system'. If there is something you are trying to get your child to stop doing-either in public only or in general-work out some sort of 'reward system.' For instance, if your child has a problem with picking his nose, tell him he can have a sticker or something else he likes if he can refrain from doing it while you're in the grocery store. If he can go for a whole day or week without doing it, up the ante and let him pick out a toy next time you go shopping. Some people think such things are 'bribery', but you don't necessarily have to give him a material possession. You can give him extra hugs or praise, or let him go to the playground.

If there's a habit (such as biting) that is destructive and not normal for a child's age, calmly correct them and give them an 'alternative'. “We don't hit when we're angry. We use our words. Now, tell me what's wrong.” Time-outs and taking away a toy or privilege can also help. “If I see you bite him one more time, no TV for tonight.” If nothing else, it lets them know that the things they do really do matter and that there is a 'cause-and-effect'.

Be consistent! Also, remember that it takes time and consistency to make progress. It's not going to happen overnight. Whatever you do, make sure it's done every time. Getting others 'in on it' can help too.

These are just a few ideas; feel free to let me know if I am off-base. What sorts of habits do your children have, and how do you handle them?

Ways To Make Extra Money While Staying Home With Your Baby

 

I've known new moms who have been criticized by well-meaning (or not so well-meaning) people for working outside the home. They would love nothing more than to stay home with their babies, but they simply cannot afford to. They have to bring in an income-either alone or with their partners-in order to pay the bills. Some try to work from home, but it can be difficult to tell the legitimate jobs from the scams. If this describes you, here are a few suggestions.

Freelance writing. If you need extra money but also want flexibility, consider freelance writing. There are a ton of sites out there such as Craigslist or Freelancer.com that feature ads from people who need writers for their projects. The qualifications are set by the advertisers, so you don't necessarily have to have a degree to complete these projects. Also, some of them can lead to long-term assignments; that's how I got started here, so I know it works. You may not get rich doing this, but it's great for extra money.

Telecommuting. If you work for an established company and can work remotely, consider asking your manager if you can telecommute. This works best for computer-based businesses or others that don't work face-to-face with clients. You'll need to have standard office equipment such as computers or fax machines, but this isn't a problem for most people.

Home-based sales. I'm not necessarily talking about cold-calling people trying to get them to buy a set of knives, although you are welcome to do that. Established businesses such as Mary Kay or Avon operate solely through local representatives. I'm sure you've seen the catalogues in waiting rooms with someone's name on the back; when someone wants to order something, they can do so through you and you can make a commission. Since your customers come to you rather than the other way around, you can make your own hours and work as much (or as little) as you want. You can't be fired or laid off because it is your business!

Home-based operations. I'm using this term because there are quite a few businesses you can run from home without having to sell anything. For instance, a friend of mine is an interior designer who works from her home. She meets with her clients by appointment, but she does the actual projects from a home office while being with her two daughters. If the number of color swatches and cloth samples she has piled up is any indication, it works out for her.

Also, some people run small day care centers from their homes. There are a lot of variables such as the type of house you have and the laws of your state, but it's not uncommon to find people who look after other people's kids from their homes. They usually either find their clients through the newspaper or word of mouth. This would probably work best in an area where people know each other, but your kids may enjoy the playmates.

Hopefully I've given you a few ideas of how to supplement your family's income from home. Like I said before, you probably won't get rich. Even so, every little bit helps.

Newborn Sibling Jealousy:

All children, down deep, love to embrace and enjoy all the attention of their parents. So, when a new baby coming along is announced, many times the older child may not share your excitement. It mostly stems from the older child suddenly experiencing insecurities due to the fact that they really don’t know what to expect. They don’t know what the changes really will be and which ones will involve them.

Then, jealousy can show up. This can show as soon as you begin to put a nursery together. You are now suddenly spending time on a room that really has nothing to do with them at all. Of course, they want you to spend this time with them. The easiest way to get the older child prepared to have a sibling is by selling it to them. Present it to them as an opportunity to become a big brother or sister to someone. How exciting will that be? Tell them how they will be helping to teach the new little one all sorts of things from talking, to walking to playing baseball.

Always remember to include the older sibling in the planning of the new baby. Let them hear the names you are considering and always tell them any good news about the baby when you come home from your doctor visits. This child will, no doubt, need a little more attention throughout this time because once you have the new baby, your time will become a bit more limited. Getting on a good schedule now with the older child will help the transition of the new baby go much smoother.
It is exciting growing your family and it just takes a little extra patience to get everyone all on the same page with the new development. Another good idea is to have a certain time each week that is exclusively for the older child to go somewhere or do something with you. Then, continuing this after the baby is born shows the older child that you value him just like you did before the new baby arrived. This stability will help him to see that you have enough love for a bunch of kids, him included.

Lots of parents allow the older child to visit the baby as soon as it is born or be there for its birth. All decisions that are totally up to you as a family. It is also a nice idea for a grandparent to help by giving some extra attention to the older child, which will help to make him feel all the love from his family. Should this older child act out a bit, wet his pants like preschoolers may, etc., don’t be too alarmed it will soon pass as soon as you are back into some sort of regular family schedule. Adding to a family makes for an exciting time so just focus on the positive of it all and things will end up working themselves out.

Possible Concerns Regarding Adoptions And Foreign Births

 

As I may have mentioned before, I was born in Guam. My father was stationed there for the Navy, and my sister started school there. Despite the fact that Guam is an American territory and has been for over a century, I've had my citizenship questioned several times  This was mostly when registering in school, but it raises an interesting question-what happens if a child is born outside the home country of her parents? Would she still be a citizen? What kind of hoops, if any, would you have to jump through? Also, what if you and your baby's father are from different countries? Could your child be a citizen of both countries? In this post, I'm going to attempt to answer this very complicated question. Even though I can only speak for the US, it can still give you some food for thought.

The answer is-yes and no. Most of the time, the US does not allow someone to be a citizen of more than one country except under certain circumstances.

For instance, it is possible for a child born to parents of different nationalities to automatically be granted citizenship of both countries. I once worked with a man whose father was from Denmark while his mother was from the US. Until he was older and joined the military, he was a citizen of both countries. Denmark just happened to allow this, but other countries may not. Since a dual citizen is often subject to the laws of both countries, it's up to you to decide if this is really something you want to deal with.

If your child is born in the US, s/he is automatically a citizen. The same goes for a child born abroad to American parents, like me.  It doesn't matter where a child is born; if she is born to American parents who are there as Americans (for instance, military or diplomatic families), she's a citizen.

To make things even more convoluted, it's possible for a child to have citizenship of a whole host of countries. A child born in the European Union to be a citizen of all EU countries, although they may not have the same rights in all countries.

If you adopt a child from another country, the citizenship of the child depends on the other country. In 1980, The Hague Convention was enacted to regulate international adoptions for the purposes of the child's protection and citizenship. It was started primarily to combat child abductions across international borders and facilitate the child's return home, but it also works with a large number of countries to match children with loving families. If a child is from a country that subscribes to the Convention, there are special guidelines the parents must follow to ensure their child's entry and residence in the country. It's possible to adopt a child from a country that does not subscribe to the Convention, but there may be different processes. Unfortunately, some countries might not process international adoptions at all. For more information about The Hague Convention, visit http://immigration.about.com/od/immigrationbasics/a/Inter_Adopt.htm.

As you can see, the subject of a child's citizenship can be pretty complicated. These are only basic guidelines, so you'll want to do your homework when it comes to the particular countries you're dealing with. I know this seems like an odd thing to think about, but it's becoming more and more relevant as the different countries of the world interact with each other. For more information, visit http://immigration.about.com/od/uscitizenship/f/DualCitizenship.htm.

How To Get Your Pet Ready For A Baby:

Wondering how your pet will do when the new baby arrives? Chances are your beloved canine or feline already knows something is up. Mom’s belly is getting bigger, the house is getting rearranged, there are all kinds of new smells… diapers and Desitin… baby blankets and bottles… and what’s the deal with all these stuffed animals? Pets pick up on hormonal changes as well, so there’s a good chance your dog or cat knew you were pregnant even before you did. Still, you are going to want to make preparations in order to ensure a happy homecoming for your baby.

Don’t wait until the third trimester to get things ready with your pet. Once you know you’re expecting, there are a number of things you can start with right away.

Obedience Training

No, not your husband. If you haven’t already done this kind of work, you’ve got the next nine months to break your pet of any bad habits. Focus on problem behaviors such as mouthing, jumping, possessiveness, fear, or anxiety. If you’re not sure how to work with your pet on your own, seek help from an animal behaviorist. Consider enrolling in a training class with your dog - this will help with obedience and enhance the bond between the two of you. Remember, your dog’s behavior is controllable while your baby’s is not for the first few years (though there are reports that this can extend well into the teenage and even adult years).

Baby Practice

Invite friends with babies over to your home so that your pet can get used to the sounds, smells, and sights of children. You can use a rocking chair, turn on the mechanical swing, play tapes of 'baby noises' such as crying and even practice holding a baby doll in order to accustom your pet to the upcoming routine.

Sleeping Arrangements

If you allow your dog or cat to sleep on your bed, think about whether or not this will continue once the baby comes. Your pet looks to you for stability and consistency. If you suddenly decide that the bed is off limits because the baby is there sometimes, you will create anxiety and possible resentment in your pet. A gradual transition to a pet bed is a better way to go.

Health

Take your dog or cat for an annual wellness exam before the baby comes. This way you will be able to address any particular health problems while your life is still relatively controlled. Spay or neuter if you haven’t already done so - fixed pets tend to have fewer health problems and are generally less aggressive.

How To Introduce Your New Baby To The Rest Of The Family

  

Your due date is coming up soon. It kind of sneaks up on you, doesn't it? You've gotten all of the necessary 'stuff'-diapers, baby clothes, crib, car seats, etc. You're prepared for the day you bring your baby home.

But, wait a minute. You've prepared yourself and your husband, but what about everyone else? You still have to figure out how to introduce your new baby to the rest of your family, namely siblings and pets. After all, they are going to be living with the baby too. What sorts of things can you do to make this new transition easier for them?

First, let's start with siblings. Sometimes older children in the house feel ignored because the new baby takes so much of everyone's attention, especially if they were the only child in the house up until now. One way you can make your child feel loved and appreciated is to have them help with the baby. Ask them to help you pick out the baby's clothes for the day, or toys to take with you when riding in the car. If they are older, let them help with the car seat or let them push the stroller when you take them along for walks. Have them fetch you things like diapers or feeding utensils, and let them know that you couldn't take care of your baby without them. Even if this isn't true or the 'helping' slows you down, it's important that your other children feel included. That is, if they want to be included. It's best to gradually incorporate your other children into relations with the baby, so don't feel the need to push the issue with your other children if they don't appear to be interested. Please remember that the bonding process is going to take some time, even if the child was excited about their new brother or sister before.

Make it a point to spend one-on-one time with the older children to let them know that they are still just as loved as they were before. This is especially important if they are acting out or seem to resent the new baby.

Preparing pets for a new baby is also important, especially if they aren't used to children being around or are nervous in general. One thing that helps is getting the pet used to the baby's scent. Cats and dogs have a very strong sense of smell and use this sense to adjust to their surroundings, so give your pet something the baby has used so they can get an idea of what the baby smells like. Put a blanket in the pet's bed or allow it to play with a toy the baby used.

This probably goes without saying, but supervise your baby's interactions with the pet. Do not-I repeat, do NOT-allow the pet to get into the baby's crib, especially when the baby is in it. I have five cats and know very well that they don't follow directions well and are very adept at jumping over things and getting into places they shouldn't be. When the baby is asleep, either keep the door to its room closed or put up a 'screen' so that the pet can see the baby without being able to touch it. Dogs are somewhat easier to deal with, so having a 'baby gate' or some other barrier in front of the room should suffice. Also, please remember to keep the pet's food and litter in places where the baby cannot get to it. If your dog sleeps in a crate, put the litter box on top of it. Do the same with the food bowls; just do whatever you have to do to keep these things off of the ground and out of the baby's reach. This may sound obvious, but you'd be surprised.

I hope now you have a few ideas about how to introduce the rest of your family to your new baby. Good luck!

Pottytraining 101:

Trying to hold onto your sanity while potty training your child can be somewhat intense. Is it because their accidents continue to frustrate you, or is it because you simply cannot handle buying one more pack of diapers? Potty training a child requires a good bit of patience along with some organization and in due time it will happen for every child.

While it may drive you mad hearing about the one old year old girl next door that has already successfully completed her potty training routine while you’re still working on bribing your four year old to get with the program, you must realize that every child is different. Some have the desire and the attention span to begin training at very young ages, while others may be afraid of it or simply not interested. The first step in successfully potty training your child is to stay calm. Getting upset every time your child has an accident is only going to cause you additional stress, which will in turn upset the child as well. If you have tried the training around the age of one or two and your child simply is not getting the swing of things, then ask them why. They may be afraid or just not understand the importance of graduating from diapers to going to the bathroom on their own, either way the sooner you speak to your child regarding their issues with the training, the sooner you may have them out of those diapers. It is never a wise idea to push the child into potty training either, this will make them cry or feel as if they are hurting you by their lack of development. Some children are not even ready to start their training until they are four, even five years old. You have to be patient; even though it may be very frustrating, it's something that has to come on its own time.

Some tips for encouraging your child to be more excited about their potty training would be to make it fun, provide a reward system and give lots of hugs. You have to imagine being a toddler or preschooler, what appears to be remotely fun about going the bathroom? Not a whole lot, so it is up to you the parent to make it fun. Provide stickers, small toys or a special treat such as playing outside for ten minutes each time they go. Give lots of affection after each attempt, even if they failed to complete their mission as it will assure them they are getting closer to their goal and you are behind them all the way. Always back off for the rest of the day if your child seems hesitant or becomes very upset with the situation and try again the next day. Remember, all the children that attend high school have been potty trained. Your child will master the skill in due time as well.

Looking Into Health Insurance For Your Baby:

Whether you work full time, or not at all having health insurance seems to be a must have in this country. You cannot break an arm and not have insurance in some hospitals, being a "Self-pay" patient is rather discriminating. There are specialists you cannot visit without referrals from a primary care doctor, etc. All reasons why you need to look into a healthcare plan for your entire family. When you have a small baby it’s important for both you and your child to have insurance. 

What should you think about when you want to insure your baby? All baby insurances shall cover for both illness and accidents 24/7. But also cover most diseases, especially congenital ones (like blindness). If not, choose any other baby insurance. Baby insurances should include health care expenses, which means that if your child would be stricken with an illness or an unfortunate accident the insurance will allow your baby to stay for a longer period in hospital and cover any expenses Remember to look at different insurance company’s premium; if they are too high it can be really expensive. Compare the premium with the actual cover. If you have certain specific needs or live in a unique situation, it might be valuable to pay some extra for the premium if the insurance covers your exact needs. 

Make a quick search online or contact local insurance companies to get the best result. You might also ask friends with children, what they think about their children’s insurance company, how it working and how well they think it is. To have an illness and accident insurance in different companies is only interesting for compensation for economic and work-related disability. If you sign a number of insurance it will be the principal amount of all companies combined. In contrast, only one company pays medicine and medical care. An advice is to sign for a group insurance for all children or the whole family as early as possible. This might give you a discount and still ensure that you will have the best baby insurance possible. 

Some insurance companies require a full health check up before insuring the child. This is done at the hospital; you will get questions about the child’s health and medical history. Such insurance is taken so the insurance company will know the risks that they take. It takes time and it might be difficult to find baby insurances. But make a smart choice for both yourself and your beloved children. Secure your future together and get insurance for your child today.

Looking Into Adoption?

A baby is a ray of sunshine. If you want children, but might not be able to physically have them, adopting is a good option. Besides having a child of your own, you will also provide a new home for someone who might have a bad fate. There are so many children in the world who don’t have a family and need a new home; one way to give a child without parents a home is to adopt one. 

Adopting a baby is not an easy process. There is so much to think about and a lot of requirements need to be met. But is this is the way that you have chosen, then the right amount of endurance will help you through all the obstacles. When you adopt a child there are some important things to think about. First and foremost for the child's sake, that the baby should have a safe and loving life and a home to grow up in. It means that you as a parent need a good financial standing and have no problems with either alcohol or drugs or other psychological problems. None of the parents may have been convicted earlier. To start the process, contact an adoption agency near you. 

There are different laws and requirements to meet, and they will help you to fulfill them. Also, try to contact various interest associations that are formed by parents who have adopted children. They might be able to give advice and counsel you through some of the steps on the way. If you have biological children from before, make sure that you are not treating the children any different. Conflicts may arise, but be sure that you tackle them early by showing that you treat everyone in the family equal. Also have in mind that the adopted baby may start to ask some questions about their background history. 

Be even aware that when a child are adopted from another country, or if she or he has a different look or race can get some questions that may seem hard to her/him and also being teased during their grown up. It is important to talk with the child about its history when it is adopted; regardless of the child’s original origin. Do your homework and read about the child’s country and get to know the background history of the child. If you adopt a baby from another country you should keep in mind that the child may feel confused, cause of the new language, maybe even the food tastes funny, and many factors may play a role. You must also remember that, the younger a baby is when it’s adopted, the easier it becomes for both the baby and the adoptive parents to create a bond with each other.

More Things To Consider When Naming Your Newborn

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One of the most exciting parts of pregnancy is coming up with a name for your new baby. In fact, many of us have baby names picked out long before we are pregnant or, in the case of girls, before we even hit puberty! It's fun to read the many baby name books and hear about the weird names people give their babies. But, as entertaining as this can be, picking out a baby name is serious business. It's not like cute clothes or baby toys; it's something that will be with your child for the rest of her life. In this vein, here are a few things to consider.

• Spelling and pronunciation. Few things are more annoying than having to constantly correct people who get your name wrong. While I haven't had this problem, my husband has an unusual name that most people (myself included) get wrong when they meet him. Foreign-sounding names might be a good tribute to your religion or heritage, but try to steer clear of first names that aren't easily spelled or pronounced. If the name has a special meaning to you, perhaps it can be a middle name.
• Association with the name. Sorry, but names such as Adolph or Judas will probably never outlive their association with certain unsavory people from the past.
• Sound. How does it sound when paired with your last name?
• Can it easily be made fun of? Hopefully your child won't have this problem, but some names can be easily used by others to annoy or harass. Dweezil Zappa or Destry Spielberg might be able to get by because of their famous fathers, but most kids don't have that luxury.
• Nicknames or initials. Some parents give their children nicknames as 'real' names. This can work well with names like Christy or Sue, but having to explain that your name isn't actually Christine or Susan can get old after a while. It can also be embarrassing to see DUD or HAG stamped on your luggage at the airport. :)
• Popularity. Common names are great in that people can usually pronounce or spell them, but some children don't like having several classmates with their name.
• Gender. It's been a trend in recent years to give girls names like Mackenzie or Ryan that were previously associated with boys. There are also names like Robin or Dana that have become unisex over time. Names like this make it easy for parents to name children before knowing their gender, but it can be frustrating for a child to constantly have to correct others about their gender. Boys tend to be more insulted when taken to be girls than the reverse-Think of the Johnny Cash song 'A Boy Named Sue'!
• Naming after their parents or other family members. Naming your child after them is probably one of the best ways to honor someone. However, some people think this is too confusing or can make the child feel like they don't have an identity of your own. One way to get around this is to give the name as a middle name. That, or call the child by their middle name or initials (AJ, etc).

Now, for what's probably the most important thing-

Don't let anyone pressure you! As you've probably noticed by now, everyone has an opinion on what your child's name should be. Don't let anyone pressure you into picking a name you don't like. Also, don't let anyone (including me!) talk you out of using a name that means a lot to you. If pressure from others is a problem, consider not telling anyone what your final decision is until after the child is born. At that point, it's too late for 'suggestions'! 

In closing, here's your laugh for the day-

The 20 Most Bizarre Celebrity Baby Names

:)

Dealing With Unwanted Advice

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Most of my female family and friends have had children. While they are as different from each other as a tabby cat's patterns, they all have one thing in common: It seemed as though everyone else around them had an opinion about how they should raise their children! From what to eat while pregnant to how to dress an infant to what schools their kids should go to, new mothers tend to get all kinds of unsolicited advice. Most people are well-meaning, but it can still get on your nerves. How can you deal with these comments with grace while still getting your message across? Here are a few tips I've found.

Just the facts, ma'am. If someone says something that you know isn't true or doesn't apply to you, state it. Back it up with 'credentials'; people tend to 'take your word for it' more if it comes from an expert on the subject. If your mother quotes a parenting book to you, quote one to her, perhaps even the same book. “[X baby book expert] said it's okay to eat this.” Better yet, quote your doctor. “I'm giving her formula because my doctor said I'm not producing enough breast milk.” She'll probably assume the expert knows what they're talking about, and leave it at that.

Pick your battles. While you won't want to 'lean' on matters that you consider vitally important to your child's health or well-being, let the person talk. If your friend insists that your child wear a thick blanket when you take him for walks in the stroller, let her put one on him. It won't hurt, but will make her feel like she's been heard. If your baby doesn't want it, he'll push it off. If it's not a big deal to you, don't argue about it. Just let it pass and change the subject.

Don't return rudeness for rudeness. As tempting as it may be, don't respond to rude comments in kind. Sometimes silence, avoiding eye contact or a terse “Thanks, I'll think about it” works very well to let the person know you don't want their advice.

Enlist the help of a mediator. If there is someone who can step in for you (perhaps your husband or another relative), let them. This is especially true if the comments are putting a strain on your relationship with the person speaking. Chances are, you're not the only one bothered.

Be honest, but tactful. If their comment really bother you, be honest but tactful about how you feel. “I like that you're trying to help, but I think things are okay the way they are.” “I know you mean well, but I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't press the issue”.

Finally, here's something I think is really important-

Recognize that they mean well. While there are definitely people who just like to meddle, most people who give you unsolicited advice are trying to help. Understanding this can go a long way in defusing any anger you may have.

Being a new mother-whether it's your first child or (yikes!) your fortieth-can be a stressful situation in your life. Hopefully now you have an idea of how to make it a little less so.