Do your children have habits you want
to break? Here are a few ideas that might help.
Remember that many habits resolve
themselves. Certain things such as crying and thumb-sucking are
appropriate for whatever developmental level your child is at and
will be 'grown out of'. Your doctor can give you more information
about the different stages.
Make the habit physically harder.
If your child has a problem
with spontaneously taking off her clothes or touching herself, dress
her in things she can't get into very easily. If your son still sucks
on a pacifier or a blanket, take it away from him and put it where he
can't get to it.
Be calm. My dad had a short
temper and was a 'yeller'. While I'm not saying that we should never
raise our voices-sometimes you have to in order to get your child's
attention-, yelling out of anger may do more harm than good. If you
can take a second to calm down or whatever, do so.
Get to the source. A lot of
things that we consider to be 'bad habits'-for instance, thumb
sucking-are ways a child comforts themselves. Have there been a lot
of changes, positive or not? Is there something that is making the
child nervous? Even something as small as a change in your son's
routine can 'throw him off'. As he gets used to it, the sucking will
often stop. If there's something going on such as boredom or
increased arguing with a sibling, deal with that.
Positive reinforcement and a 'reward
system'. If there is something you are trying to get your child
to stop doing-either in public only or in general-work out some sort
of 'reward system.' For instance, if your child has a problem with
picking his nose, tell him he can have a sticker or something else he
likes if he can refrain from doing it while you're in the grocery
store. If he can go for a whole day or week without doing it, up the
ante and let him pick out a toy next time you go shopping. Some
people think such things are 'bribery', but you don't necessarily
have to give him a material possession. You can give him extra hugs
or praise, or let him go to the playground.
If there's a habit (such as biting)
that is destructive and not normal for a child's age, calmly correct
them and give them an 'alternative'. “We don't hit when we're
angry. We use our words. Now, tell me what's wrong.” Time-outs and
taking away a toy or privilege can also help. “If I see you bite
him one more time, no TV for tonight.” If nothing else, it lets
them know that the things they do really do matter and that
there is a
'cause-and-effect'.
Be consistent! Also, remember
that it takes time and consistency to make progress. It's not going
to happen overnight. Whatever you do, make sure it's done every time.
Getting others 'in on it' can help too.
These are just a few ideas; feel free
to let me know if I am off-base. What sorts of habits do your
children have, and how do you handle them?
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